Nearly 10 years ago, I experienced my first layoff. Back then, I was shocked and saddened at first. Those feelings soon morphed into excitement at the idea of using my severance to take a break from working and spend more time with my then 4-year-old girl. After working at the same company for 12+ years, I thought, "How often does someone get an opportunity to enjoy paid extended time off?" Little did I know ...
Since then I’ve been through two more layoffs, the most recent one in late January of last year. Along the way, my husband was also laid off three times. It would be funny if it weren’t so GD frustrating. Still, you have to keep a sense of humor and perspective about these things. If you can’t laugh through the tough times, it’s harder to find the funny through the “easy” times. And things could definitely be worse. Sadly, you don’t have to go far to find proof of that. So we were just thankful these layoffs weren’t at the same time and that so far, we’ve managed to survive each one.
The harsh reality of trying to make a living in Silicon Valley really hit home for us this past decade. But each life challenge has taught us more about ourselves: how resiliency (humor included), strength of character, and faith in God and ourselves can help you endure and overcome any trial.
One new lesson that has resonated with me most after this recent layoff has been a spiritual awakening for me. It wasn’t an instant light bulb “A-HA” like I thought it would be. It was quiet and unexpected—as if the seed was planted in me years ago and it was just starting to sprout. In a way, this is true.
Years ago, a friend gave me a paperback copy of A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. When I tried to read it at that time, I didn’t understand it. I felt as if the concepts were going over my head. So I stopped halfway through. I wasn’t ready yet.
After I started the career transition process again this past year and was spending more time in my car commuting between home and various career counseling appointments, workshops, networking events, and the like, I decided to try listening to the book. And this time, it clicked. At least parts of it did. For me, it will be one of those books that I will need to revisit every now and then to deepen my knowledge. But what stood out most for me is the idea that I am NOT my thoughts, my past actions, or my circumstances. There is SO. MUCH. MORE— about me and in my life that was getting overshadowed by my focus on all that was "wrong." If I allow toxic thoughts and negative energy to define me and limit me from ALL that life has to offer, I will miss out on some truly beautiful moments.
Anyone who is going through or has been through the job search process knows how difficult, exhausting, and disheartening it can be. Repeated rejection is not for the faint of heart. Realizing that I am NOT just about what I do to make money and that my career is not my purpose has been a gamechanger for me. I take comfort in the fact that I am already living my purpose—by simply being ME—and living in the NOW. I still sometimes struggle to wrap my head around this concept, but I’ve learned that it’s best to trust how it feels in your heart and soul versus trying to intellectualize it. This is also a topic that I could go much deeper on, but I’ll save it for another time and channel. One simple thing I can share that changed my perspective is realizing that I’ve spent most of my life waiting. Waiting until the right job comes along. Waiting for the right time to start that dream blog. Waiting to pay off debt to take that dream vacation. Waiting—to live.
And during all that time I spent waiting, I was missing my life. I was physically there, living THROUGH the moments, but I wasn’t really living IN the moment. And when I started to consciously shift my focus to the NOW, I felt a shift inside me. Amid all the things I thought I was lacking, there was so much more beauty and joy to notice and appreciate in my life. And the more I focused on the list of things I had to be grateful for, the more I was able to add to that list.
I wish I could say it’s been a complete transformation for me, but decades of ingrained negative thinking is hard to overcome all at once. I still have my “why me?” and “what did I do wrong?” occasions, and my “saltiness” (for lack of a better term) sometimes comes out in less than kind ways. But I’m happy to report that those occasions are less frequent than before, and I am more aware of when they happen and can strive to do better.
Like anything in life, it takes daily practice/exercise. I still have my lazy days when I don’t feel like doing anything. Then, I remember that, like with physical workouts, I feel much better when I do my mental/spiritual workouts too. When I practice my self-care routine of mindfulness, gratitude journaling, and positive affirmations, my spiritual muscle and overall well-being feel stronger and better prepared to tackle those negative, toxic thoughts and actions that sometimes spill out when I’m not feeling my best.
I hope that by sharing this, I can inspire others who may be struggling. Whatever challenges you are facing, know that you are much more than your situation or circumstances. You can rise above any challenge by focusing and appreciating the good all around you; the more you do this, the more good you will attract.
Wishing everyone attracts nothing but love and positivity into their lives in 2020 and beyond.
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